"I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina"
"I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie.."
"My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?"
"He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said 'this has your name written all over it!'"
"I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot."
These and many more brilliant bon mots are from the blog "Texts from last night"
Enjoy!
Employee gets called out by coworker who believes he only shows up on her
floor to give her dirty looks: ‘Me and my partners in crime decided we are
going to press this issue to the point of disruption’
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So the entire office should organise itself around Maureen's paranoia?
According to this story, that's the case. Some people are so lost in their
own delus...
15 hours ago
I absolutely love those quotes! Thanks for sharing, Sizzle Lips!
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