Monday, August 20, 2012

Hey Girl,


You know I'm-a make our budget almost as strong as my love for you.
Posted by Mortimer Cliff at 9:06 AM

8 comments:

  1. Ann SayreSeptember 27, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    I always neglect to ask this of you Mort- but why does the flag only have 48 stars? Isn't Alaska the best land deal the United States ever brokered? Hawaii? Come on now.

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  2. Mortimer CliffOctober 29, 2012 at 10:52 PM

    Alaska was brought into our union as a condition or allowing Hawaii statehood. It was a compromise to counter the inherent liberalism of Hawaii with the equally conservative Alaska. As to our flag having only 48 stars, it hasn't been like that since before Hawaii and Alaska were admitted to the union. Maybe I'm not understanding the question, but regardless, to answer your latter question, it is not the best land deal we ever brokered. That would be the Lousiana Purchase, hands down. All they were seeking was more favorable trade rights at the mouth of the Mississippi, not a deal to double the size of the country and allow us to assume the rest of the continent to ourselves. Needless to say, Mexico and Canada are so inconsequential they've already consumed to much of this space and my time.

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  3. Mortimer CliffOctober 29, 2012 at 10:55 PM

    Napoleon Bonaparte really blew his wad on that deal, didn't he? He blew his load right all over every single person in France, who, incidentally, had it coming then and they have it coming now. Goddamn Francies.

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  4. Mortimer CliffOctober 29, 2012 at 10:56 PM

    He blew it right into their hair, ears and eyeballs. And their mothers, too, just for good measure.

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  5. Mortimer CliffOctober 29, 2012 at 11:07 PM

    Then he blew it a little bit on his daughter, then in his dog's ass, then he went lookin' fer gramma. Then, when he ran low on the man sauce, he headed off for the stables with a yearnin' for unirnatin', passing by the chickens and sheep on his way with a little yellow sprinkler for the good work. Once he finished off all the horses and bulls and cows, he took the stablehand out with the gardener to the pool and had the pool boy hold his junk and prime his pump so more so he could cum all over the Francie-ass princess, or duchess, or whatever the fuck she was. Finally, he went off for some wine and cheese with the Cardinal on holiday from Vatican City. He gave it to that dude with a foggy white shower and told him he was the new Pope. Finally, he strolled off to nail his predecessor and shove a gigantic bible up his ass. FUCKING ARISTOCRAT.

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  6. Mortimer CliffOctober 31, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    These comments brought to you by Joe Biden.

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  7. Ann SayreNovember 3, 2012 at 2:24 PM

    http://bit.ly/K9xMbX

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  8. Ann SayreNovember 21, 2012 at 5:20 PM

    Mort- I was asking why this illustration was using the flag that existed prior to 1954. That seems to be an editorial oversight.

    Speaking of 48 star flags, doncha think that this illustrator should get called out for having the Flag touch the ground? Especially when it is Norman Rockwell holding it? Yet NO ONE seems to have noticed that detail as well.
    http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/alex-ross-poster.jpg

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