Apparently I've found the right answer.

Angie: Question. You need to teach my kids how to–-
Me: No, I don't. What's your question?
Angie: No, seriously, you really need to teach my kids to-–[play piano]
Me: No, I don't.
Angie: But they are so talen–-
Me: No, they're not.
Angie: No, you need to see them. You would love it.
Me: No, I wouldn't.
Angie: But just hear me out befohh–-
[…]
Me: Let's try this again. I would literally prefer to die than to teach your kids how to play the piano.
Angie: [cries]

Is this really worth tears?