Casual Fridays is a pox on all our houses.

I cannot tell you how inappropriate things have gotten at my place of employment.

For right now, today's missive will address the wearing of spangly flip-flops on womens' feet. Ugh, flip-flops, at work! Ladies: Just because you paid more than ten dollars for footwear does NOT mean that it's "nice" enough to wear to the office. The worst part is the sound they make when on the job, the rhythmic smacky-smack of rubber on flesh, it actually makes me think that people are fatter than they really are, just by the sound. Here's the ruling on this, Fashionistas, take heed:

Flip-flops should only be worn in places or at events in which drinking beer out of a bottle is permitted.

Note: This rules out the Kentucky Derby, as the gentry drink mint juleps out of cups for that event. So, if there isn't a beer in the hand, there shouldn't be flip-flops on the feet! Going to the Derby? Then wear your nicest picture hat and put some damn shoes on! Can I get a witness?